


Split An Atom, Break Two Hearts

by Sun_Moon_Stars_Jedi



Series: Whumptober 2020 [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Alien Invasion, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Language, Spoilers In The Following Tags, Temporary Character Death, Whumptober 2020, hinted Jon/Dami, radiation poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_Moon_Stars_Jedi/pseuds/Sun_Moon_Stars_Jedi
Summary: Roy has already put in his comm and is changing into his uniform while he reads through the information on the screen. A level 5 emergency is the highest the JL has and it means all hands on deck.Apparently the Watchtower has detected an alien fleet heading for Earth, breach of atmosphere is expected within 10 minutes.Great, just great. An alien invasion is just what this day needs to get even better.
Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Series: Whumptober 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968304
Comments: 20
Kudos: 130
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 22 of the Whumptober Challenge: Poisened  
> Warnings in the endnotes to avoid spoilers (although there is nothing really graphic in this fic).

“Lian, if you’re not ready in 5 minutes I’m taking away your weekend patrol privileges.”

Roy’s call down the hallway is followed by an outraged “You can’t do that, that is so _unfair_!” but also the sound of his daughter finally getting ready for school, so he simply grins into his coffee. 

“You’re such a hardass,” Jason says from behind him, sounding amused, and when Roy turns around in his chair his husband is smiling at him from across the kitchen where he is putting the finishing touches on their breakfast.

Honestly, the younger man treats every meal like it has to be an experience in dining and Roy has tried to tell him countless times that less than gourmet is also fine, but his husband is stubborn and set in his ways, so Roy had simply decided to shut up and enjoy the perks of being married to such a talented cook some years ago.

“I’m not a hardass,” Roy huffs, “it’s just that _someone_ has to enforce some rules around here. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger. You’d let her get away with anything”

Roy makes sure that his tone is teasing because even though Jason has practically been Lian’s father since they got together when she was three and legally since they got married and he adopted her four years ago, Roy knows his husband still sometimes questions whether he and Roy have the same importance in Lian’s life - which is ridiculous of course, but Roy would never do anything to further Jason’s occasional self-doubt.

He doesn’t need to worry it seems because Jason simply rolls his eyes at him, still amused.

“Remind me, who let her stay up so late last night that she barely got out of bed today?”

“Hey, she was just finishing her newest project. Engineering is educational.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jason smirks, coming over to place the food on the table before he bends slightly over Roy, his lips hovering just inches away from his. “Maybe you’re really not that much of a hardass.”

“I’ll show you hardass,” Roy says, gripping Jason’s neck with one hand and pulling him down to meet his lips.

“Ew, you guys are so gross!”

Lian stomps her way into the kitchen, getting into her seat and pointedly putting up one hand next to her face to shield her from them.

“How am I supposed to eat with you two sucking face right next to me? That’s fucking disgusting.”

Roy and Jason share an exasperated look as Jason stands up fully and moves to his seat across the table. God, their little girl is turning into a teenager so fast, even though Roy could swear it has only been a few days since she was a toddler.

“Language,” Roy admonishes lightly, earning himself a scoff and an annoyed look from her.

“You say so much worse stuff,” Lian throws back unrepentantly and Roy deliberately does not look at Jason, who is barely holding back a grin.

“And you can say whatever you want as soon as you’re an adult,” Roy says, knowing that that type of argument will never work on his daughter, but honestly, he doesn’t have a better one.

To call his enforcement of appropriate language rigid would be a joke and Jason doesn’t even try, he’s too fond of swears himself. Roy does it more out of some kind of vague notion that this is what parents are supposed to do, even if (or especially because) the rest of their parenting approach is as far from conventional as one could get.

Case in point, after Lian has finished shovelling food into her mouth as if it could disappear any second (so much for being too disgusted to eat), she turns back to Roy, a determined expression on her face, and he knows what this is about before she even starts speaking.

“No.”

“I haven’t even said anything.”

“I know what you’re going to say and the answer is still no.”

“But there have been younger members in the Teen Titans. You two joined when you were my age and I’ve been patrolling with you for years. I’m ready, dad.”

“Lian, we talked about this-“ Roy begins patiently, but his daughter’s mouth immediately presses into a thin line in anger and she turns around to Jason.

“Jay, come on. You said I could join when I was fourteen and my birthday is only a couple of weeks away.”

Roy catches the guilty look Jason flashes towards him and his own expression turns into a scowl. They will talk about this, because that had not been what they agreed on when the topic first came up.

“I said we would think about it, princess,” Jason says placatingly.

Lian is in no way discouraged by that so Roy cuts in as she opens her mouth, undoubtedly about to argue both of them into the ground.

“Lian, you’re going to be late for school, so get moving.”

“But-“

“No buts. You know missing school means no patrol on the weekend.”

“You’re the worst,” Lian hisses from between clenched teeth, shoving her chair back with enough force to topple it over as she gets up, glaring at Roy to make her displeasure _very_ clear before she storms out of the kitchen.

“Lian,” Jason calls after her in a stern voice, getting up to follow her, “apologize to your dad, or-“

Jason hasn’t even made it into the hallway before they hear the front door slam.

“Well…” Jason says dryly, “that went great.”

Roy is pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut, feeling the beginnings of a headache start to take root. And his morning had been going so well…

“So, how mad are you?”

Roy opens his eyes and looks up to find Jason standing in front of him, stance firm and eyes unflinchingly meeting his. One thing he really appreciates about his husband is his directness. There is no beating around the bush with them. If one of them is upset, they tell each other and work it out immediately. They both have too much experience with letting negative emotions simmer and the consequences that can have. This openness is why they work so well.

Still, Roy doesn’t like any kind of confrontation with Jason, so he lets out a slow breath, calming himself down and forcing back the pounding behind his eyes.

“I’m not thrilled you told her something different than what we discussed, Jay.”

Jason inclines his head for a brief moment in acknowledgement, but the expression on his face is unrepentant. Just because they are good at discussing their problems doesn’t mean they aren’t both stubborn as hell.

“I know I shouldn’t have done that,” Jason concedes, “but Roy, you have to admit, you don’t really listen when this topic comes up. Lian is getting older and at some point we have to let her be more independent.”

“I’m not against her being independent. But you know what types of missions the Titans go on. And I just-“

“You’re worried, I know,” Jason says, sympathetic and soft in a way he only is with his family as he reaches for Roy’s hand and squeezes lightly. “So am I. But at some point we have to let her grow up.”

Jason’s voice is melancholy and Roy feels a pang at the realisation that, yes, his little girl is growing up and soon she won’t need him anymore. She’ll go on her own missions, have her own life - what if she just forgets about him and Jason? That’s ridiculous, of course, but Roy can’t stop himself from thinking it. 

Man, the older he gets, the more he understands Oliver’s behaviour back when he was a kid…

Still, he can’t just agree to Lian joining the Titans, there are so many aspects to this to consider. Too many for half past seven in the morning.

“Lets table this discussion. You’re late as it is,” Roy points out.

Jason throws one look at the clock and with a muttered curse he starts to rush around the room, picking up his phone and throwing things into his bag before hurrying into the hallway.

“I’ll be home early, I only have two classes and a couple papers to grade,” Jason shouts from the hallway.

He comes back seconds later, pressing a fast kiss to Roy’s lips and rushing out of the door again with a “Love you, bye” thrown over his shoulder.

The front door slams a second time just as Roy calls “Love you too.”

With the house empty and silent Roy allows himself a couple more minutes to just sit at the table, sipping the rest of his nearly cold coffee as he turns over Jason’s words in his head.

Maybe he is too protective of Lian, but who can really blame him? It’s not like he hasn’t seen first-hand what the hero life can do to people, how fast a mission can go bad. Is it so wrong that he wants to keep his daughter close, where he can protect her should anything happen?

There is no one present to see him so Roy lets his head thunk against the table with a loud groan. He knows the answers to all of those questions but admitting to himself that Lian might be ready to go on missions without him and Jason…it scares him more than anything else he ever faced in life, honestly.

Roy allows himself a few minutes to wallow and then forces himself to get up. He might not have school like Lian or a job at a university like Jason, but he still has things to do.

He makes his way down to his workshop and once he starts tinkering on one of his current projects his mind luckily turns its focus on the work instead of his teenage daughter growing up. Roy is completely in his element, just putting the finishing touches on his newest design for an invisibility shield and humming along to the music blasting from the speakers when an alarm suddenly starts blaring, cutting off the thumping rhythm that had previously permeated the air.

He is at the computer in an instant, bringing up the correct interface and cursing under his breath at what he sees.

_Justice League – Level 5 Emergency_

Roy has already put in his comm and is changing into his uniform while he reads through the information on the screen. A level 5 emergency is the highest the JL has and it means all hands on deck.

Apparently the Watchtower has detected an alien fleet heading for Earth, breach of atmosphere is expected within 10 minutes.

Great, just great. An alien invasion is just what this day needs to get even better.

Knowing their luck Gotham will definitely be one of the first places to be attacked so Roy grabs as many supplies as he can carry. This will be a long day, he can already tell.

He is just finishing his preparations when the comm crackles to life and Jason’s voice sounds in his ear.

“Roy, what’s going on?”

His husband sounds calm, the way he always does when they are under fire, and Roy quickly relays all the information he has (which isn’t much, honestly). Jason could have gotten the details himself after he got the alert, but Roy knows the first thing he did was tell his students and anyone he met to go home and the second was to jump on his bike to make his way to Lian’s school. Roy can hear the rush of air and the sounds of traffic in the background as Jason makes his way through central Gotham. This is their emergency plan - whoever is closest to their daughter gets her and takes her to a safe place, which, in this situation, means the Cave.

“Okay, I’ll suit up as soon as I’ve dropped Lian off. See you out there.”

“Not if I see you first,” Roy says, laughing at the pained sigh Jason lets out.

Neither of them tells the other to be careful as the line clicks off; they both know what they have to lose if they aren’t.

Roy gets on his bike and makes his way into the city, checking in with Oracle and hearing most of the other Bats do so over the next few minutes as well.

He’s the only one already in the city and as such the only one with a front row seat as a gigantic ball of light suddenly appears in the sky, getting larger and brighter as the ship hurtles towards the ground.

Roy has enough experience with space flight to recognize the flight path as a very well executed re-entry, dashing his slim hopes of the ship being destroyed as it hits the atmosphere.

Over his comms he gets the report that several other ships have begun to descend all across the globe, but it seems the one heading straight for Gotham is the largest of them all – because of course it is.

The ship is heading for the city centre as far as Roy can tell, so he guns his engine and heads in that direction, passing the endless column of Gothamites making their way in the opposite direction. Say what you will about this city, but at least the citizens are used enough to weird things happening that there isn’t a panic in the streets as they all make their way towards safety.

When Roy is still a couple of blocks away from the centre he abandons his bike and makes his way up onto the roofs. The higher vantage point gives him a better view of the ship that is now hovering several hundred feet above the highest skyscrapers of the city. As far as he can tell, there is nothing happening right now, no beam of light or destruction coming from the ship, no invading army being deployed. He knows it won’t stay that way for long and uses the time he has to study the ship, using binoculars and the readouts from Justice League satellites, gathering as much information as he can.

Over the comms Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are coordinating the Justice League, ordering various heroes to the other 49 landing sites, and Jesus, 50 cities getting attacked simultaneously – this has the potential to be one of the biggest catastrophes humanity has ever faced.

Roy tunes most of the chatter out. He is already in position and they don’t have any useful information for him right now, so he focuses on his readouts of the ship.

Frustratingly, he doesn’t get much. The ship seems to be shielded too well for their scans to get through. He is just about to call in and ask if somewhere else people are having any better luck when movement catches his eye.

“Something’s happening,” he informs the others over his comm, “a portion of the ship is opening up and there are things coming out of it - a lot of things.”

The same is reported from all other landing sites and as Roy watches through his binoculars, he can make the things out to be drones or robots, hundreds of metallic glinting mechs pouring out of the ship. There are different models, seemingly each designed for a specific purpose, and Roy watches in horror as the first ones impact on the ground and immediately let out some kind of gas that begins to fill the streets. Some land and begin to group up like an army, others begin to patrol through the sky, another kind takes to the harbour and vanishes in the water.

Roy reports all this in a clipped, professional manner, hearing the acknowledgement from the Bats and the estimation that they will be in the city in a few minutes. Internally, Roy feels cold dread, because this appears to be a perfectly executed invasion and if their enemy’s technological capabilities are as far developed as Roy begins to suspect them to be right now they are in deep trouble.

In less than a minute several hundred robots have been deployed into Gotham and Roy doesn’t lose any more time and begins to take the first ones out. It is a bit of a learning curve as simple arrows do nothing against these metallic contraptions and even his explosive ones don’t take all of them out immediately, but he starts to discover where their weak spots are by the time the other Bats arrive.

Having non-living opponents means they can go all out and soon the streets are filled with the sounds of explosions, gunshots, and the metallic screech of destroyed machinery. In between dodging the various attacks from the robots (one with a flamethrower had nearly burned Roy’s hat to a crisp – rude) they are busy bringing the civilians that hadn’t made it out in time to safety. At least everyone in Gotham has their own gasmask, or they would only find corpses due to the noxious gas wafting through the city.

Even with all of them it is a losing battle, Roy can tell. For each robot they destroy two new ones come from the ship and soon they are spread thin across half the city, trying to contain the enemy more than actually stopping their assault.

Even the addition of Superboy, who is fighting right next to Damian and smashing through robots at his top speed, doesn’t turn the odds in their favour.

“This is pointless,” Jason eventually growls through the comms. He sounds like he is gritting his teeth and Roy can tell he must have some kind of injury from the strain in his voice. His worry ratchets up a notch, but he knows Jason can take care of himself.

Besides, it’s not like Roy is totally unscathed either. There is a long cut across his back where exploding shrapnel had caught him that pulses painfully every time he pulls back the string of his bow and the rest of his body will surely be bruised to hell and back when this is over. But it’s far from being over yet, so he ignores that for now.

“I know,” comes Bruce’s deep grumble, frustration evident in his clipped tone. “We need to stop them at the source.”

That is easier said than done. Of course they had already tried to get on the ship, disable whatever mechanics are controlling the robots, but a force field around the thing means they can’t get in. Nothing seems to be able to penetrate the shield, not their own drones or even Superboy, and Leaguers from all the other landing sites report the same issue.

"I actually have an idea for that,” Roy says.

He’s been crouching behind a half destroyed wall for the last few minutes, dismantling one of the flying bots that he had shot down and he thinks he has finally found what he was looking for.

“These robots can pass through the force field, so I thought they must have some kind of transmitter that signals the ship to allow them access. I think I’ve finally found one that’s undamaged.”

“Awesome, give me the transmitter and I’ll get on the ship,” Superboy says and Roy has to suppress a smile at how he still sounds like an overly excited puppy even though he is nearly 18 and in the middle of a battle right now.

“Nah, just give me a lift up there. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m the better engineer and more familiar with alien ships, Baby Sups.”

Roy can hear Damian snort a laugh at the nickname over the comms followed by a “Shut up” from Jon, but seconds later Superboy is standing next to him, taking a firm hold, and then they are off.

Once they get higher in the air and closer to the ship the drones start to notice them and try to intercept, but Superboy’s evasive flying coupled with some well shot arrows means they don’t get too close. As they approach the force field Roy holds his breath in anticipation, praying that this works, and Superboy noticeably slows down – he might be able to take a full force impact into the shield, but Roy certainly is not.

They pass the invisible barrier without any problems and Jon lets out a short whoop as he speeds up again, now heading for the entrance to the ship.

“We’re in,” Roy reports, but the only answer through his comm is static. The field must be blocking their communication, which means they are on their own for now.

Once inside the ship they make it barely ten feet before they are attacked. There is still no sign of any life-forms, only robots coming at them, and Superboy starts to smash through them with ease, giving Roy the signal to advance while he keeps them occupied.

Roy makes it out of the fight unseen and once he leaves the hanger bay they had entered through the corridors are eerily empty. It seems the robots are only in the area from which they are deployed, leaving the rest of the ship completely unguarded.

Whoever designed this setup must have been very confident in their force field to keep them out and Roy allows himself a little smirk at how they managed to still sneak in.

He searches for the control room and luckily finds it not too deep inside the ship. The illuminated panels and glowing screens all show symbols he can’t read, but he is an engineer and mechanics have always been easy for him to figure out, so he gets to work.

It doesn’t take him long to understand that this ship isn’t just the control hub for the robots attacking Gotham, but the central point for all the ships attacking Earth right now. If he can disable this one ship, it will be akin to toppling the first domino and the other 49 will cease to function, too.

Kind of a stupid system, Roy thinks, but he’s not going to complain about it.

He starts to dismantle and disconnect the connections that will stop the drones and the moment he is finished he hears a crackle through the comms, the line open once again now that he also deactivated the force field.

Before he can even ask if it worked there is a woosh of air and Superboy stands next to him, grinning wide.

“You did it,” he beams and Roy feels relief flood through him. “They all just fell over and stopped moving.”

“That’s great. You okay, kid?”

Roy knows Jon is practically indestructible, but he can never suppress the urge to ask. Symptom of being a dad, he supposes.

“Of course, it didn’t even-“

Roy never finds out what it didn’t even because Jon’s words get broken off when a deep rumble shakes the entire ship and all the electronics overload, sending sparks flying through the room, before everything falls into dead silence.

Roy can feel Jon’s wide eyes on him and there are suddenly questions in his ear as Bruce, Jason, Barbara, everyone in Gotham is asking what is going on, as apparently the readings from the ship are now going crazy and the power surge had been visible even miles away.

Roy can’t concentrate on all of them, tunes them out so he can instead think through the controls he had just dismantled and what might have been triggered to explain what just happened.

“Superboy.” His urgent tone snaps the teen to attention from where he had been talking through the comms. “Scan the ship, find the engine room or the energy source!”

Jon immediately starts to look around, the familiar pinch to his face that means he is using his x-ray vision.

“Found it,” he announces, pointing somewhere below them.

“Get us there.”

It only takes Jon a few seconds to fly them through the winding corridors and then they are standing in front of the doors leading into the heart of the ship. Roy has been flown around at high speeds enough times in his life that he only needs a brief moment to recover from the disorienting sense of vertigo the rapid change of location brings with it and then they are pushing through the heavy doors.

The moment they cross the threshold an alarm starts to beep in Roy’s comm and when he looks down at his suit’s sensor readouts he finds exactly what he had feared.

Radiation. And quite a bit of it.

“Come on,” he orders, taking off across the wide space towards the central control panel. As he runs his eyes are scanning the setup, drawing up schematics in his head, trying to work out a plan to fix this.

“Arsenal,” Superboy says, running right next to him, “you can’t be in here.”

Roy ignores him and when he skids to a stop in front of the monitors and levers and buttons, all marked in ways he doesn’t have time to figure out, he already knows what he has to do. He lifts his hand to activate his comm, allowing himself only one breath to make his voice steady before he speaks.

“Arsenal to everyone. No one can come up to the ship. We have it handled. But I repeat, do not enter the ship.”

“Understood,” comes Bruce’s curt reply and Roy has known the man long enough to hear the undertone of worry.

“Arsenal, what is-“

Roy cuts off the line before Jason can say more. He knows what he has to do now, but if his husband asked him not to…it might make him a coward, but he isn’t sure he could hold it together if he has to listen to Jason, or worse Lian, beg him not to do this.

All he can hope for now is that Bruce can keep Jason from making his way up here. Their daughter needs at least one living father to raise her.

“Roy,” Jon shouts, pulling him around so they are face to face. 

He might look like a copy of Superman now that he is nearly an adult, but in his expression all Roy can see is the little boy he had watched grow up and he is terrified right now – not for himself, but for Roy – and it breaks Roy’s heart.

“Roy, you have to get out of here. I can deal with this, please.”

Roy knows he can’t and the fact that Jon doesn’t simply pick Roy up and fly him out of the ship says he knows it too.

“You can’t, Jon,” Roy says firmly, “and we don’t have the time for me to remotely explain everything to you. If we don’t stop these reactors from melting down, this ship will explode and eradicate at least all of Gotham and irradiate half the country. We have to do this.”

Roy doesn’t have more time to reassure Jon, but as he turns back around to start working on the control panel he can see him straighten his shoulders and his eyes harden.

God, Roy should feel worse about this - he has just damned a teenager to watch him die - but he can’t because if this is the price to keep Lian safe, keep Jason and the rest of their family safe as well as all of Gotham…he will gladly pay it.

“We need to remove the cores manually,” Roy says after studying everything for a few more moments.

If he has interpreted the machinery right (and he usually does), the cores from the four reactors had been combined in one chamber, starting a meltdown, when he disabled the robots from the control room. Most likely a failsafe protocol to insure that even if the invading army was shut down, the city under the ship would still be destroyed. Cruel, but effective.

Roy leads them to the reactor that now houses all four cores and with each step that they get closer he can taste the sourness of the air increase, feel the prickling on his skin that marks this area as toxic. His comm crackles and dies with a sharp hiss a few steps from the chamber, as do all the other electronics he carries.

“Come on,” Roy says, pointing Jon towards the first valve they have to open.

Even with two pairs of hands, one of which has superstrength, it still takes them several long minutes to separate the cores and prevent a catastrophe. Roy can feel the radiation eat away at him with each second.

At first his skin only reddens but then it starts to blister and bleed, getting hot like he is being cooked alive. The dizziness is something he can deal with, but when the nausea also sets in, Roy has to take a moment he doesn’t have to breathe deeply and control himself.

Just a little longer, he tells himself, and when he looks up Jon is looking at him with wide, scared eyes.

“This one next,” Roy croaks.

His throat is parched, it feels like he hasn’t had a drop of water in years, and blood has started to stream from his nose and eyes judging from the wetness he feels on his face, but he can’t let that stop him.

Roy’s legs start to tremble soon after and at the point when his hands are also shaking so much that he can barely even grip the next lever he knows he doesn’t have much time left. His entire body feels like it is melting, pulsing with the feeling of his skin, his flesh, his muscles, everything dissolving.

He crashes to the ground and Jon is immediately by his side, but he waves him off and only points him with a shaking arm to the next cable that has to be rerouted. They don’t have time to feel sorry for him, this has to get done, or a lot more people will suffer like Roy does right now.

He manages to talk Jon through the next few steps and when the young Kryptonian finally closes the last valve, storing the last core safely back in its own reactor, Roy allows himself to give into his body’s demands and vomits.

It feels like he brings up his entire stomach and his insides cramp more painfully than they did even during the worst days of his withdrawal.

A weak moan is all the indication he can give Jon that he is still conscious when the teenager frantically calls his name, hovering next to him. The pain is all consuming now, his entire body breaking apart further with each second as the radiation tears every cell to shreds, and he would scream if he still had the energy or breath for that.

Suddenly two new points of agony spark to life behind his shoulders and the backs of his legs and Roy tries to move away from what feels like steel rods pushing into him, but his body doesn’t respond beyond a few twitches to his commands anymore.

“It’s okay,” Jon’s voice, watery and trembling, says form above him, and when Roy looks through eyes that are beginning to cloud over, the teen’s face is very close to him.

He’s lying in Jon’s arms, Roy realizes sluggishly, and even that little bit of thought feels monumental to him now.

“I’m taking you home,” Jon says and before Roy can react in any way (as if he even could still react) there is the rushing of wind and it feels as if every bone in his body is cracking and breaking until they are ground into dust.

Roy doesn’t know if he blacks out or if his mind is just so far gone that he can’t take in his surroundings anymore, but the next time he registers anything other than pain is when he hears a voice he didn’t think he would ever hear again.

He can’t really make out any words, comprehension beyond his abilities right now, but that voice is one he could never not respond to, so he gathers what little strength he has and opens his eyes. It takes more effort than anything else he has ever done in his life and once they are open he has to work through the haze that colours everything he sees a milky white.

There is something wrong with his eyes, a faraway part of his brain realizes, but any thought beyond that is impossible, his mind too scattered and hazy with pain.

The space he is in is dark and familiar, even if he can’t name it at the moment. There is a presence right next to him, but that is not where the voice is coming from.

That voice, there is a name to that voice.

It is the only important thing left, that voice, finding whoever it belongs to, because they are _important_.

It might take seconds, it might take an eternity, but Roy turns his head and there, that shape, that is where the voice is coming from.

Roy stares and the voice continues to speak and slowly the image resolves itself into a man, a tall man with dark hair and unbelievably sad eyes and-

“Jay.”

Roy doesn’t know if he managed to make a sound, but from the way Jason’s hand comes up to press against the window between them, he might have.

And now that he sees the window it suddenly all comes back to him; the invasion, the robots, the failsafe…

He is dying from radiation poisoning and Jason has to watch him wither away from behind six inches of glass because he is so contaminated.

The presence next to him resolves itself into Jon, the only person in Gotham who can get near him now. If Roy had any energy left, he would tell the teenager to go, that he doesn’t have to see this, but he doesn’t and somewhere deep inside he also feels grateful that he won’t have to die completely alone.

Roy can feel his eyes start to close and he knows they won’t open ever again, so he fights to keep them open just a little bit longer and takes these last moments of coherency to just look at his husband.

God, how had he ever deserved someone like Jason?

“Love you.”

Roy knows there was no sound this time, but Jason still nods, his lips quirking into a sad smile and if Roy has one regret it is that he won’t ever see Jason’s happy smile, the truly free and ecstatic one, ever again.

“I know. I love you too, Roy. So much.”

Roy is fighting for every moment of awareness, but he can feel the pain get sharper, the fire burning through his body all-consuming now. But there is something else important that he still has to say.

“Love…Lian.”

His lips barely move, but Jason nods.

“She knows, Roy. I will tell her every day but never doubt that she knows.”

Roy tries to smile, but it doesn’t feel like he has any control over his body anymore. A shudder runs through him, his muscles sparking back to life one last time in agony, and Roy doesn’t know if the new cloudiness to his vision comes from tears or blood.

Still, he fights to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Jason. His mind starts to get foggy again, but he knows it is important to look at Jason.

“It’s okay,” Jason says softly, “it’s okay, Roy. You can let go.”

Roy can barely understand what he is saying, comprehending words almost beyond him.

“Just let go, Roy. It will stop hurting. It’s okay, you can let go now.”

Fighting the encroaching darkness around him becomes a losing battle and slowly the tension drains from his limbs as his eyes close and his breath stutters. For a brief moment there is only static, his senses not able to parse any information anymore and Roy would feel panic but he doesn’t, because the voice said it would be okay.

Somewhere in the last functioning part of his brain he still knows that he trusts that voice, no matter what.

Trusting Jason he finally lets go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Description of radiation poisoning, including blistering skin, eye- and nosebleeds, vomiting, disorientation.  
> Temporary character death
> 
> I'm sorry?  
> I promise a happy end, guys. But first there had to be heartbreak.
> 
> If you'd like to chat, here is a link to [my Tumblr](https://sun-moon-stars-jedi.tumblr.com/).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little longer than planned, sorry.  
> Still, this second chapter is for the Whumptober prompts, even though it isn't October anymore.  
> Day 19 Mourning a Loved One  
> Day 15 Magical Healing.

It takes everything Jason has not to break down the moment Roy’s chest heaves with one last laboured breath before it falls completely, utterly still. His legs threaten to give out under him but he locks them with an iron will that speaks of desperation. He needs to stay upright to keep looking at Roy, to see if maybe he isn’t gone yet, to see if maybe there is still that last shred of hope…

“His heart stopped,” Jon says, voice chocked and eyes brimming with tears where he still stands next to Roy, his hand resting lightly on Roy’s upper arm in an effort to provide what minimal comfort he could during his last moments.

Jason can’t bring himself to look at the teenager, see the heartbreak there because his own heart lies dead right in front of him. He hadn’t even gotten to be with Roy during his final minutes, had to watch through a window as his husband died in agony. He won’t ever be able to get closer to Roy again than he is right now, never give him a last kiss or feel his hair or simply even touch him again and-

“Why did you have to be so goddamn stupid!”

The shout bursts out of Jason without conscious thought and then his hands are pounding against the glass, over and over again, the dull thud of the unforgiving glass and the pain in his hands not registering in his mind at all.

“You had to be a hero. You had to do it yourself, you had to get yourself killed, you had to **leave me**.”

There are tears streaming down Jason’s face and he can barely breathe but the words won’t stop, pouring out of him in desperate pleas, his voice getting more hoarse by the second as his hands still against the glass.

“Roy, how could you leave Lian. How could you leave us alone, we need you…I need you. Please.”

The last word is barely more than a whisper, all of his energy gone now. Jason is leaning against the window and it is the only thing holding him up as he stares at the still face of his husband, the image blurry with tears.

He doesn’t notice how much time passes, doesn’t register anything around him until a hand grasps his shoulder gently and Bruce’s voice speaks from behind him.

“Jon, you have to go through decontamination and then you can come out.”

Bruce sounds strained, like it is costing him everything he has to hold it together, but that is not something Jason can think or care about right now. His own grief is overwhelming and when Jon pulls the sheet over Roy’s head at a slight nod from Bruce he can feel the last shred of strength inside him wither into nothingness.

Bruce is there, both of his hands suddenly gripping Jason tight and they are the only thing keeping Jason from simply crumbling to the floor. Jason finds himself in the arms of his father, his face pressed into his chest armor and his world shrinks to the sobs tearing out of him and the pure agony of the knowledge that Roy is gone.

When his tears finally run dry and a sense of numbness has overtaken Jason’s mind he starts to notice Bruce’s hand carding through his hair, his voice, low and grief-stricken, murmuring to Jason that he is not alone, that his family will be there for him and Lian, and Jason tightens his grip on his father’s uniform for a moment and presses even closer into his embrace. He can’t speak right now, doesn’t know what he would even say, but in some way he still wants to show how much this means to him.

Bruce must realize that Jason has started to come back to himself because he also squeezes him tighter for a moment and his words stop as he presses a kiss to the crown of Jason’s head.

“I’m so sorry, Jay.”

Bruce sounds broken in a way Jason has rarely heard and for long seconds they just stay like this. Once Jason has finally gotten his breathing back under control he leans slightly back and when his eyes meet his father’s they seem so much older than Jason has ever seen them.

“Jay,-“ Bruce begins and Jason knows he will ask him how he is, but Jason can’t answer that question right now, not without breaking down again.

He can’t allow himself to though. However much he wants to spend the rest of the day in his father’s comforting embrace and just let someone hold him while his world is shattering to pieces, he can’t. Because he is also someone’s father and his daughter’s world was just destroyed just as much as his.

“I…I have to tell Lian.”

Jason pushes himself away from Bruce and he can tell that he wants to say something but stops himself. The cowl is pushed back, so Jason can clearly read the sadness in his father’s eyes as he nods at him before he lets Jason go completely with one last squeeze to his shoulder.

“I can come with you if you want.”

Bruce’s voice is softer than usual and Jason would appreciate the offer if he still had the capacity to feel anything other than numb right now. He shakes his head wordlessly and turns towards the changing area, intending to at least clean up before he has to face his daughter (and maybe he also wants to give her a few more precious minutes longer before he has to tell her that her father is gone).

As they walk across the Cave however someone is already waiting for them.

Jon, wearing fresh clothes and with hair still wet from the decontamination shower, stands in front of the changing area, his shoulders hunched in and his eyes resolutely on the floor.

When they approach he looks up briefly and the red-rimmed eyes and tear tracks on his face make him look so much younger than he really is now and Jason suddenly desperately wishes he could turn back time. This boy didn’t deserve to have to watch someone die a horrible death just as much as Jason didn’t deserve to lose his husband.

“Jon, are you hurt?” Bruce asks once they are standing in front of him and neither Jon nor Jason have managed to say a word. Jason is very aware that Bruce doesn’t ask if the super is okay.

Jon just glances up at Bruce and shakes his head briefly before his eyes track over to Jason. He can’t seem to hold his gaze though because instantly his eyes snap back down to the floor and then a sob breaks out of him.

“I’m sorry, Jason. I’m so, so sorry. I should have gotten him out of there earlier, I should have protected him better. I couldn’t save him. I’m so sorry.”

The words are just bubbling out of Jon as he cries and Jason feels his throat tighten with new tears as he watches this brave young man break to pieces in front of him.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jon,” he manages to say, but Jon doesn’t seem to hear him, so he simply wraps his arms around him and holds him close.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jason whispers as Jon sobs in his arms. “You brought him back to me. You made sure he wasn’t alone. I am so grateful for that, Jon.”

Bloodshot eyes look up at Jason and after a few seconds Jon’s tears stop and with a wobbly smile the super straightens back up and extricates himself from Jason’s embrace.

“I shouldn’t have cried all over you, I’m sorry,” he says as he scrubs at his face and normally Jason would have a quippy rejoinder or even a heartfelt comment, but today he just twists his face into something hopefully reassuring and then steps past Jon into the changing area, leaving Bruce to take care of the teen.

He strips out of his suit and steps under the shower with mechanical efficiency, his body knowing what to do without his conscious input. Within the blink of an eye Jason is dressed in clean clothes, the wounds he got taken care of (and they are laughable really if he thinks about…) and stands in front of the door connecting the Cave to the Manor.

His hand is hovering over the handle, frozen mid-motion.

Lian is somewhere on the other side of that door and as soon as he steps through…

Jason takes in a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and just trying to calm himself down enough to take this next step. He stands in the darkness and let’s himself remember Roy’s smile, his laugh, the feeling of his lips against Jason’s, the joy in his eyes whenever he looked at Lian.

Those are the images of his husband he wants on his mind when he talks to their daughter. Not that of Roy on a medical gurney in an isolation room, his body breaking apart with each second.

It is the roar of engines down in the Cave signifying the arrival of the other Bats that finally spurs Jason on to move. As much as he loves his siblings, he doesn’t have the energy to deal with so many people right now. And Lian comes first, anyway.

Jason pushes the door open and walks into Bruce’s office. The room is empty so he makes his way down the corridor, finding Lian and Alfred in the living room, watching coverage of the invasion and remaining destruction all around the globe on the TV.

“I so could have helped,” Jason hears Lian huff and Alfred answers in such an even and fond tone that Jason knows she must have said the same thing the whole day.

“No one doubts your abilities, Miss Lian. But it is very nice of you to spend some time with an old man while everyone else is chasing robots around.”

“You’re not old, Alfie,” Lian laughs and Jason could swear his heart stops because he never wants that laugh to end, doesn’t want to take this moment of happiness from his daughter.

“Ah, Master Jason,” Alfred says, standing up as he sees him in the doorway.

Lian also turns around on the couch, looking Jason over with the same practised eye everyone in their family has to check for injuries and Jason’s heart _aches_ as her whole posture visibly relaxes once she is certain he is okay.

“Did you bring me some souvenirs, Jay?” Lian begins to babble, voice excited. “These robots look pretty interesting and I already have some ideas how I could use their parts to-“

Jason swallows hard and makes his way over to the couch on wooden legs, sitting down next to Lian, and his expression must give her a clue that something isn’t right because suddenly her words stop and a small hand reaches for him.

“Jayjay, are you okay? You don’t look so hot.”

God, she reminds him so much of Roy, with her fast mind and deep care for others hidden behind a façade of humour.

How can he do this to her?

“Miss Lian is right, Master Jason, you do look rather pale,” Alfred says, although there is already something more aware in his voice than there was in Lian’s. She might want them to think of her as an adult, but she still is just a teenager who had (thankfully) lived a happy life sheltered from loss – until now.

Jason sends the old butler a look and he must read the seriousness of the situation in it because he sits down without another word in the armchair next to the couch, a hand gripping the armrest firmly as if he needs to steady himself as he continues to study Jason.

When Jason looks back at his daughter the smile has dropped from her face and there is a wrinkle of apprehension between her brows.

“Jayjay, what’s going on?”

“Sweetheart,” Jason begins and then stops because saying it will make it real, will break not only his heart but Lian’s as well. 

But he has to tell her, can’t even imagine someone else doing it, so he reaches for her hands and folds them gently between his as worried green eyes bore into him.

“Sweetie, today during the fight your dad went onto that alien space ship and he deactivated the robots across the whole world. He saved so many people. But…but something went wrong, there was a failsafe build into the ship and he…he didn’t make it. Your dad didn’t…he died, princess.”

Lian is looking at him with big eyes and for several seconds there is no reaction until she whispers, so quiet Jason barely even hears it, “Are you sure?”

Jason swallows hard but nods, holding her gaze, and an instant later tears are filling Lian’s eyes and her breath hitches. Jason pulls her close as the first sob breaks out and then he is rocking his daughter in his arms, barely holding himself together as she falls apart.

Over the top of Lian’s head Jason meets Alfred’s eyes, and they look so grief-stricken in that moment, as if every loss the old man had ever endured came back now to haunt him anew. Without a word Alfred gets up, steps closer to the couch and lays a hand on Jason’s arm.

The contact only lasts a few seconds and then the butler quietly leaves the room, but Jason still takes comfort from the knowledge that his family is there for him to lean on in this dark time. Now however he has to take care of Lian first, so he continues to rock her slightly, murmuring soothing nothings he doesn’t even really register himself to her while she cries.

When the sobs slowly subside and Lian pushes herself away from Jason he looks down to find her splotchy face staring straight up at him and without thought Jason wipes a few of the tears from her cheek. 

“Can I-“ she begins, voice croaky and breaking off after only two words. “I want to see him, Jay. Please, I need to…”

Jason is shaking his head softly before she even finishes speaking. He would give his daughter anything, but this is a request he cannot accommodate.

“Please,” she practically begs, and Jason didn’t think he could feel worse on this day but denying his daughter something she is so desperately asking for makes his heart ache even more.

“Your dad wouldn’t want you to see him like this. Trust me, Lian. Remember him the way he was.”

“But I need to say goodbye. I need to tell him I love him and-“

Her words choke off again and Jason fights his own tears down at the new ones spilling down her cheeks.

“He knew, Lian,” he says, rubbing one hand in soothing circles over her back as Lian’s breath hitches. “The last thing he said was how much he loved you. He knew, sweetheart.”

Instead of calming her down the words have the opposite effect and Lian’s breathing grows even more frantic as sobs tear through her. Jason is starting to get worried about her passing out, so he tries to get her to match his breathing, but she doesn’t really listen to him, simply continues to work herself up more.

“I said,” she sobs, words barely understandable through her tears and broken up by sobs, “the last thing I said to him was he was the worst.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Jason says softly, hugging her tight once again. “He knew you didn’t mean that. He was your dad, of course he knew.”

Lian shakes her head slightly but doesn’t say anything else, simply buries her head against Jason’s chest again as she continues to cry.

So much time has passed until Lian finally stops crying that the sun has set and the sitting room is left in a gloomy half-light. Jason can’t see much of her, but once Lian sits back up he can tell that her eyes are drooping with exhaustion.

“Do you want something to eat?” is the first thing that comes out of Jason’s mouth, his voice scratchy from talking for what was probably hours.

“I just want to go to bed,” Lian says, her voice sounding just as empty as Jason feels.

“Okay, princess. But you should at least drink something.”

Lian eyes dart in the direction of the kitchen for a second and there is a flash of apprehension on her face before she asks, “Could you get me some water? I don’t want to see anybody yet.”

“Of course,” Jason says softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to the crown of her head before he gets up. “I’ll get some water for you. Go on up to your room.”

He watches from the hallway as Lian makes her way towards the family wing, the usual bounce in her step gone, every movement seeming to cost a monumental amount of energy as she trudges up the stairs.

Once he can’t see her anymore Jason takes a deep breath and walks toward the kitchen. He can hear voices from outside already, quiet and sombre, so unlike the usual tone in the Manor. He knows his family let him and Lian have their space, didn’t want to intrude, and he is simultaneously grateful and apprehensive because of it.

He doesn’t know if he could have handled telling Lian with even more people present, true, but now he will have to face all of them at once, which also makes dread curdle in his gut.

The moment Jason pushes the door open all conversation on the other side stops and everyone instantly turns to face him.

His brothers are sitting at the kitchen counter and the puffiness around Dick’s eyes, the wet streaks left on Tim’s face, the grief written across Damian’s, they all make Jason’s breath hitch and he has to stop himself from simply turning around and leaving.

Alfred is behind the counter, in the process of preparing tea for all of them and judging by the five empty mugs this isn’t the first round he has made. He always said that a good cup made even the darkest day a little brighter, but Jason doesn’t think that applies today.

When no one says anything Jason steps inside, looking straight ahead so he doesn’t have to see the grief on his family’s faces as he quickly makes his way towards the pantry.

“Jay I’m-” Dick begins gently once he steps back out with two bottles of water for Lian, but Jason immediately cuts him of.

“Please don’t, Dick. I can’t, not right now. Just…please.”

His voice nearly breaks and when he looks up there is understanding in his older brother’s eyes. Dick simply closes his mouth and nods silently at him. Jason is nearly through the door when something else pops into his mind.

“Where’s B?”

His father’s absence from the kitchen shouldn’t alarm Jason, the Manor is a big house after all and the family doesn’t spend every second together, but suddenly his pulse is ratcheting up, his mind conjuring images of a second body down in the Cave, another person he loves gone in the same day, and even though he saw Bruce earlier, he simply has to know for sure.

Silence follows his question and Jason doesn’t miss the way his brothers and Alfred exchange glances as if they try to figure out how to tell him something. The panic Jason feels increases with every second of silence as his fingers squeeze the water bottles so hard the crunch of plastic becomes audible.

“Your father went to the Watchtower, Master Jason. He needed to meet with the rest of the Justice League.” Alfred says, voice calm and grounding like it always is, making Jason relax for an instant before he goes on, tone much more sombre. “He also wanted to inform Oliver and Dinah in person.”

“Oh,” is all Jason eventually forces out and then he is out in the hallway, leaning against a wall and staring at the ceiling, counting his breaths to fight down the new urge to just sink down to the floor and never get back up.

He hadn’t even thought about Ollie and Dinah.

He had been so focused on telling Lian, there hadn’t been any capacity left to think about all the other people that loved Roy.

Jason will have to tell them, plan a funeral, invite them so they have a chance to say goodbye to Roy…

How can Jason face them? How can he tell Kori and Donna and Wally and Jade and so many others that Roy is gone?

It takes some time, but eventually Jason makes his way upstairs and softly knocks on Lian’s door, entering when there is no answer. She is already curled up under the covers, though she is clearly not asleep.

Jason sits quietly next to her on the bed, passing her a water bottle and after he has gotten her to drink at least some of it she curls back up half around him. He strokes his daughter’s hair as her breath begins to hitch and she presses her face against Jason’s shirt, where he can feel the wetness of her tears in seconds.

“I just want him back.”

“So do I,” Jason whispers around the lump in his throat.

Lian continues to cry until she mercifully falls asleep and Jason stays with her until long after that.

When he finally gets up the Manor is completely silent around him as he makes his way down into the Cave. There is no one there to see him track back to the observation window and turn on the light inside the isolation room, how he flinches at the sight of Roy’s limp body even though it is covered by a sheet.

Lian’s words are still in his ear and the thought, as much as he doesn’t want to go there, is still on his mind. 

Why couldn’t he just bring Roy back?

How could he not be thinking about it? The thought had been at the back of his mind since Roy’s eyes had closed for the last time and has only gotten stronger with each tear Lian shed, each grief stricken family member he had to face.

He could bring Roy back. 

But there would be a price. A price that Jason knows all too well, has lived with since his own resurrection. A price he had only ever told Roy about in full, in those dark nights when the green wouldn’t leave his nightmares, when he felt every agonizing blow the Joker had dealt him once again, when he felt like he had come back wrong, twisted and soulless.

It had been Roy Jason had begged that he would never have to go through this again, had made him promise to let him stay dead whenever it would be his second time to leave this world and Roy had given him that promise. And in turn he had asked the same from Jason.

How could Jason go against his husband’s wishes and bring him back to life, even though he didn’t want that? It would be selfish of Jason. It wouldn’t be the right thing to do. It wouldn’t be fair to Roy to burden him with the weight of a resurrection.

Jason had to tell himself all of those reasons over and over again before he finally turned from the window and went back upstairs.

* * *

The next few days are a complete haze to Jason.

He and Lian continue to stay at the Manor, their own house filled with too many ghosts. Jason nearly has another breakdown when he drives there just to pick up a few things for them and upon opening the door is immediately faced with one of Roy’s stupid trucker hats lying on a side table.

He hurries through the rooms, chucking clothes into a suitcase, trying to think as little as possible as he packs his best suit and Lian’s only black dress. And a suit for Roy to be buried in.

He only stops as he is about to leave, hand already on the door handle, and after a moment he reaches for that hat.

It still smells like Roy, and as Jason holds a dumb hat up to his face in order to feel closer to his husband again, that thought comes back, louder even than the night before.

He could bring him back. Hold the real Roy again instead of smelling his clothes in some fruitless hope of filling that void in his heart.

Jason shakes the thought away, folds the hat so he can put it inside his jacket, and leaves the house.

Ollie and Dinah are also staying at the Manor now and talking to them had been just as hard as talking to Lian. Seeing Ollie cry…Jason had only once seen the man in tears and that had been at Jason and Roy’s wedding. Those tears had been for a very different reason.

Dick volunteers to inform all the old Titans and most of the younger superhero community about Roy’s passing and Jason is overwhelmingly relieved that this burden is taken from him.

Jade though Jason calls himself. They might never have been close, but they had gotten to know each other over the last years, had even become friends - in as much as assassins who periodically dropped by to visit their daughter could be your friend.

She takes the news pretty calmly, although over the phone it is hard for Jason to judge how much of that is a façade. She says she would try to make it to the funeral but before she hangs up she is silent for a long moment until the speaks again.

“You made him very happy, Jason.”

Jason doesn’t know what to say to that and the line goes dead after a quiet “Goodbye”.

Planning the funeral is a nightmare, though Jason doesn’t even have to stem the bulk of the work. Bruce and Alfred take on most of the important tasks and Jason will forever be grateful to them for it. Although Roy and Jason had of course made plans beforehand (everyone in their business did), they couldn’t have accounted for the way Roy died. The radiation still contaminating his body meant special precautions had to be taken and Jason absolutely wasn’t in the frame of mind to handle that right now.

Maybe it was that detachment that made the shock so great when he comes down to the Cave again during the night before Roy’s funeral, going to see his body through that infernal observation window like he had done every night since his death, and finds the isolation room empty.

Instead, there is a hulking lead coffin standing in the middle of the Cave.

Rationally, Jason knows why Roy’s body has to be buried in this monstrous construction, but the second he lays eyes on the solid lead frame, all his mind can think about is that there is absolutely no way out of this coffin.

His own one had been mahogany and he had broken all of his fingers clawing his way out. If Roy woke up inside of this…

Distantly Jason realises that he is panicking but he simply can’t control his breath as he stumbles the last few steps to the coffin and sinks down against it.

“No,” he gasps, fingers digging into the metal, “no, I can’t let them…I can’t let you go like this. I can’t…”

His fingertips are bloody by the time he comes back to himself and there isn’t even a scratch on the surface of the coffin.

No, Jason can’t let Roy go like this. If he comes back, he would be trapped in a metal prison, alone in the dark, suffocating with no chance of escape.

Jason knows it isn’t rational, that there is no reason to believe Roy would be brought back to life in the same manner that Jason had been, but that doesn’t matter right now.

All he can see in his mind’s eye is the love of his life pounding his hands fruitlessly against unyielding lead while screaming for Jason to help him.

Jason won’t let that happen. He gets back up and turns towards the stairs, mind made up.

He can’t let Roy be buried like this, but any other type of burial wouldn’t be safe due to the radiation. That only leaves one option: Make the burial unnecessary.

The moment Jason makes the decision it is as if his energy is restored from one heartbeat to the next. He flies up the stairs, hurrying through the hallways on silent feet, avoiding every creaking floorboard with the ease of yearlong practice.

The Manor is full of people tonight, all of them visiting for the funeral tomorrow, and Jason can’t risk anyone interfering. But there are some people whose help he will need.

His first destination is the guestroom Jade is staying in. To pull this off he will need someone with current knowledge of the League, maybe even contacts that could help him.

She opens the door at his soft knock and he doesn’t have to say more than two sentences before she nods in agreement and gets her gear. Together they make their way into the family wing and knocking on this second door is harder for Jason, because dragging his little brother back to the League isn’t something he ever wanted to do, but he is desperate.

Damian opens the door in seconds, making it obvious that he wasn’t asleep yet. There is a little furrow of confusion between his eyebrows when he sees Jason, but once he notices Jade a look of understanding comes across his face.

He ushers them inside and Jason is about to start on his explanation when he notices Jon sitting on Damian’s bed. Under any other circumstances this secret nightly visit would have earned Damian weeks’ worth of teasing, no matter that he is 20 by now, but that is the furthest thing from Jason’s mind right now.

In all honesty he would be happy if his little brother had found some joy but once he looks closer he can make out the tear tracks on Jon’s face. He had most likely come to Damian for comfort and for the first time since that day Jason considers the impact Roy’s death had on the teenager. 

Before Jason can say anything to Jon Damian steps in front of him though, eyes dark and serious.

“You’re going to bring him back.”

It is a statement, a fact, a prophecy, and all Jason can do is nod.

Damian’s eyes bore into his and Jason doesn’t look away or even blink. If there is one other person who can understand what this decision brings with it, what consequences this will have, it is his little brother.

Damian holds his gaze for long seconds before his eyes finally break contact. They flicker briefly over to Jon and something softens in his expression before he nods as he turns back to face Jason.

“I will help you. I reckon you need the location of a Lazarus Pit from me?”

Jason nods again and watches as Damian gathers a few things from around the room, clearly intending on coming with them.

“You don’t need to come, Dami,” Jason says, even though he knows it is most likely pointless.

His brother doesn’t even spare him a glance, only a dismissive “Tt” and that is that.

“I’ll come too,” Jon chimes in, climbing from the bed to stand next to Damian.

“You don’t-“ Jason begins but the teenager doesn’t let him finish.

“Please, Jason. I couldn’t save him before, I want to help him now.”

Jason lets out a sigh and nods. The kid is indestructible, this should be the least of his worries.

Down in the Cave Jason and Damian change into combat gear, although they don’t choose their usual colourful uniforms, instead they opt for all black ensembles. Stealth will be a very important part of this mission and it might also be better if the League doesn’t immediately connect this to the Bats.

Having Jon with them at least makes transferring the enormous coffin into one of the Batplanes a whole lot easier than Jason had anticipated and after Damian rigs the computer so it doesn’t show their departure to Bruce (at least for a while) they take off into the sky.

“Our best bet is a League facility near Algiers,” Damian says, already putting the coordinates into the plane's navigation system. “It is relatively small and grandfather never liked it much for some reason.”

Jason nods, trusting his brother, and takes a seat in the back next to the coffin as Jade begins to contact whoever she needs to make this endeavour possible.

They haven’t even reached their destination yet, aren’t even close to success, but Jason already feels lighter and with every mile the plane travels it feels as if he too is coming back to life.

He might be breaking his promise to Roy, but in this moment he simply can’t care about that. The prospect of having his husband back far outweighs the possible consequences his decision might have.

They land the plane about a mile away from the facility in order to avoid detection. Jade had made contact during their flight with someone in the city and arranged for some kind of distraction that should make it easier for them to get inside.

As they prepare to leave everyone turns to the lead coffin in their midst.

“I can carry it,” Jon offers, but Jason, Jade and Damian all simultaneously shake their heads.

“It wouldn’t fit through most of the doors,” Damian says quietly and Jason can see Jon swallow as he realises what this means.

“Okay, then I’ll open it and carry Roy,” Jon says, straightening up as he braces himself for the task.

“No, kid,” Jason says, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Open it and I’ll carry him.”

“But the radiation-“ Jon starts before Damian interrupts him.

“Let him, Jon.”

Jason meets his brother’s eyes and he can tell that Damian has figured out why Jason wants to do this himself. Not because it is his husband but because someone will have to climb into the Pit with Roy and he would never allow Jon (or anyone else) to do that. And if Jason is already going into the Pit, the damage the radiation might do to him on their way there will be repaired anyway.

After a hesitant look at Damian Jon finally grips the top half of the coffin and lifts it off. 

Roy is lying inside, cleaned up and dressed in a suit, but with the damage the radiation has done no one could ever mistakenly believe him to just be asleep.

Jason hears Jade suck in a breath and Jon let out a small sound of distress, but he doesn’t look at them, only reaches for the part of him that had been missing for days and is finally back in his reach.

“I’m going to fix this,” he promises and then lifts Roy up into his arms.

“Stay as far away from us as possible,” he advises as they make their way out of the plane and he lets the rest of the group walk ahead with a lot more distance than usual for such a mission.

As such he doesn’t have to worry about fighting anyone. When the others make it to the gate of the facility Jason sees Jon fly over it and take out several men at superspeed, leaving the gate open and unguarded for Jason to simply walk through.

It is the same at the entrance to the building and every room that follows. He just has to follow the open doors and occasional unconscious people to find his way. Although there are far less guards than he would have expected, even for one of Ra’s less favoured outposts. It seems Jade’s distraction had made the whole thing easier.

Finally his three companions stand waiting for him at a large, ornate doorway and Jason knows exactly what he will find behind it. He doesn’t need to say anything, only gives Damian a look and his brother immediately understands what he is asking of them.

“We will stand guard,” Damian declares, taking his position next to the door.

Jon and Jade do the same and with one last deep breath Jason steps though into the dark, cavernous chamber and lets the door fall shut behind him.

He stands still for a few seconds, letting his eyes adjust to the dim space only illuminated by flickering green. It looks exactly like it does in his nightmares and for a split second doubt overcomes Jason.

Is this really the right way? Does he really have the right to make this decision for Roy?

But one look down at the empty husk of his husband is enough to dispel those thoughts. He has made it this far, he won’t turn back now.

Without another moment of hesitation Jason strides across the rough stone, pausing only long enough to toe out of his boots before he steps into the green waters. From the first touch Jason can feel the influence of the Pit, the reawakening of something deep inside him that had been dormant for so many years. Coldness spreads through him, far deeper and icier than normal water could ever accomplish, while simultaneously echoes of that old rage start to flow through his veins again, burning and raw and so familiar.

Still, Jason proceeds to walk deeper into the waters until he is standing hip deep in the poisonous green. He looks once more at the slack form of his husband, his love for him the only reason he would ever step into this nightmare again, and bends down to press a brief kiss to cold lips as he murmurs “Come back to me, love.” 

Then he lowers his arms, submerging Roy in the green.

Nothing happens.

Jason counts the seconds. 10 pass, then 20, a full minute, and nothing happens.

He has never seen someone be resurrected by the Pit, has no real recollection of his own healing beyond the fractured images his nightmares provide, but surely something should be happening, right?

Another full minute goes by and Jason begins to feel the first fluttering of panic in his stomach, the unfathomable pain of his last hope shattering before his very eyes, the grief of-

As if a switch has been flipped Roy begins to thrash, his limbs flying wild, green water splashing into Jason’s face, and with a laugh that echoes around the cave Jason grabs him tight and pulls him up.

Roy’s eyes are wild and glowing green, darting from shadow to shadow before coming to a stop on Jason and there is nothing but absolute terror in them.

Before Jason can react hands are at his throat, choking and squeezing, and his own hands can’t pry them off, Roy’s grip too strong.

“Roy,” he chokes out, but there is still no recognition on his face.

Jason knows he doesn’t have long left, can see dark spots dancing across his vision already, so he gathers his last strength and pulls Roy closer instead of trying to pry him off, bringing them close enough that their lips touch.

It isn’t a good kiss or even a real kiss, more skin contact than anything, but it spark something in Roy’s mind because his death grip on Jason’s throat suddenly slackens.

“Jay?”

Roy’s voice is quiet and confused and Jason has never heard anything more beautiful in his life.

“Yeah, Roy. It’s me, I’ve got you.”

Jason leans back far enough to properly look at Roy and feels tears start to roll down his cheeks because Roy is looking back at him, recognises him, is alive and breathing and back in Jason’s arms.

“Jay, what’s wrong?” Roy asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern as one hand comes up to cup Jason’s face and brush a tear away and Jason can’t hold in the exuberant laugh that escapes him at that.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

Roy quirks an eyebrow at him and Jason leans back in to kiss him, a real kiss, because Roy is back and himself again.

Roy kisses him the same way he always does, eager and a little filthy, his hands pulling Jason closer until they are flush against each other, and Jason never wants to be anywhere but in Roy’s arms ever again.

He manages to stop kissing Roy long enough to guide him out of the Pit and once they are standing next to it, dripping and shivering slightly, Roy looks around the room and Jason can see the understanding settle in across his face.

He braces himself for an accusation, for Roy to get angry at the broken promise, for him to give into the Pit rage Jason can feel bubbling inside himself with renewed vigour, but instead Roy simply looks at him. He looks and it lasts so long Jason is sure Roy is gazing into his soul and when he finally seems satisfied he stretches his arm out to take Jason’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers.

“You resurrected me,” Roy says and it isn’t a question but Jason still nods.

“Thank you.”

Jason hadn’t expected that and his face must plainly show his disbelief because Roy just steps closer and puts his arms around him again, holding him tight as he murmurs into his ear.

“I get more time with you. I get to watch Lian grow up. How could I ever not be thankful for that?”

The words are an absolution and Jason feels the tension of the last dreadful days leave him as he sacks against Roy, letting his head rest against his husband’s strong shoulder as he grips the back of his jacket almost desperately.

“I couldn’t let you go. I just couldn’t.”

“I know,” Roy murmurs and then just continues to hold Jason.

Strange, this was definitely not how Jason would have anticipated this situation to unfold, but Roy had always been good at surprising him.

There will come a time for them to deal with the consequences of this resurrection, the Pit influence, the nightmares, the rage, but as long as they are together Jason doesn’t doubt that they will overcome them.

“But you could have dressed me up in some other clothes, Jaybird. This was my only suit and it’s ruined now,” Roy gripes and Jason can hear the smile in his voice.

Yes, he thinks as laughter bubbles out of him. Always good at surprising him.


End file.
